Ahh, Baldur’s gate three. An insanely large (literally 107 GB) open-world RPG, based on D&D, and is the third game in the Baldur’s Gate series. It’s a game with a variety of love interests of all shapes and sizes for all genders. But, unfortunately, given the nature of this column, we’ll be focusing on just the men. But don’t just take a homogenous, heterosexual view of the game. I encourage everyone to explore the game and play it to their tastes!
*spoiler alert don’t blame me
Wyll Ravengard:
Wyll Ravengard is first on the list of today’s eligible bachelors. First off, if you like people of high social status/prestige, I would both recommend and also not recommend Wyll. I would recommend because his father is a Duke, so he’s got that in his bloodline. I would not recommend him, however, because he did kind of get disowned because of a decision he made. Not to spoil too much but, he made a pact with this devil, whom he also has a complicated relationship with. But whatever, because he’s got his own title: “The Blade of Frontiers” aka “the hero of the people”, so if you like your men to have good hearts (and who are do-gooders), then Wyll is likely best on the list for you. Because of his upbringing, he has very good manners and is an AMAZING dance partner. As someone who wishes to remain anonymous once said to me, “Ria it’s literally the BEST cutscene in the entire game, you don’t understand it’s so good.” Which, to be fair, is only a slight exaggeration.
Astarion Ancunín:
Astarion is a fan-favorite. And, from what I’ve seen online, one of the most romanced male characters in the game. There are SEVERAL extremely valid reasons to romance this man, as long as you’re okay with a distinct power imbalance and being slightly manipulated. First and foremost, he’s got like the best voice actor in the game (he won the 2023 award for best performance). Neil Newbon did such an amazing job voicing him.
Now, to get into his epic lore; basically, he’s this vampire who was pretty much enslaved by this guy called Cazador Szarr for 200 years. This obviously is the main source of his insanely deep-rooted trauma, which gives context to his character and explains his moderately evil views. Aside from his profoundly sad backstory, he’s also built really well. Like REALLY well. He’s got great hair, amazing fashion sense, and is super fit. Like, he can fully lift and hold you up, he’s a rogue, meaning he’s very talented in stealing and lock-picking (wink wink). He also does insane damage when he’s hiding. Finally, he’s always trying to rizz you up, no matter the occasion. You could be on the verge of death and he’d still say “It’s always a pleasure to see you sauntering over”.
Halsin Silverbough:
If you want someone older, none are older than Halsin. He’s a good 350 years old, though he is a bit of a himbo. For those who like mature and respectful men, Halsin is perfect for you. Although, he probably would pick nature over you… at least in the beginning. He also doesn’t believe in monogamy, so take that how you will. He is, however, extremely understanding so the relationship would be very healthy, as communication is KEY. If you are someone who wants kids, he’s very good with them, as is canonically confirmed during the epilogue. HOWEVER, he does have massive, and I mean massive, biceps. Even other companions agree; “He’ll be useful in battle, if those tree-trunk arms are an indication”. That’s a direct from the character Lae’zel. No lies were spoken either.
Gale Dekarios:
Gale Dekarios is next on the list. This man is an all-or-nothing. As in, you either are outrageously in love with him, or you wish to punch him in the face. There really is no in-between. Now, I’ve got some thoughts about Gale, and most of the positives I’m going to list did come from someone else. Starting off with the pros, he is earnest and well-meaning (I suppose). He is very romantic, and most of the cutscenes with him are all cutesy, and (the only REALLY good thing about him) he is a cat person, and has a cat, uh sorry, a TRESSYM called Tara, who is actually so cute. Also, for those of you who like real-estate men, he owns property. It’s a tower, yes, but he’s a wizard so you can’t expect much else. HOWEVER, the negatives of this man are also very much present. He is so arrogant. It’s literally so infuriating when you first meet him and he goes all: “I’m so much better than you because I’m a wizard blah blah”. Like literally… shut up. He also has a dark past. And by dark past, I mean his arrogance was so wild he thought he knew better than his girlfriend, the literal Goddess of Magic, and went behind her back. He’s also hung up over his ex, who uhhh did I mention is the Goddess of Magic? He’s also a shopaholic, but who isn’t, so we shouldn’t judge him on that.
The Emperor:
So technically the emperor doesn’t have a fixed gender, but just let me have this, OK??.
Okay, I know how this looks, but first off, you can literally customize them to look like whatever you want, this is just their ‘true form’ or whatever, so really you can make it fine af. They are also another romance option that manipulates you a LOT, hiding their appearance and all, but it’s honestly okay. Like it’s understandable WHY. Just look at it. But he does also offer you plenty of power, so in the end, a win is a win. Also, for those of you who like tentacles and the sort, this is who you are destined to be with. Finally, they’re extremely open-minded. Literally, Like you can see its brain sticking out the back of its head.